Sir Fuzzy Butt
by GirlEnigma
Summary: *HIATUS* Yuffentine. Poor Vincent unknowingly turns himself into cat and Yuffie has to look after him! More plot inside. R&R! Rating for language. I love Cid anyway.
1. Cat Fu

**Plot:** **A few weeks after the final battle, everyone finds themselves at Wutai. They have a ceremonial month celebration, while they rest, recoup and par-tah. However, just before they're about to leave, Vincent unknowingly equips Wutai's secret cursed materia: Cat Fu! Unfortunately fore him, it turns him into a cat and everyone except Yuffie is going to check out the Midgar mess. So she has to cat sit Vincent until then. Will Vincent finally warm up to someone or will he go crazy and bite her ankles? A little OOC-ness for Vinster when he has crazy spurts, but you'll have to deal. (Or maybe they won't be too OOC, considering his position.)**

'**Ships:** **Yuffentine, duh!** **Mild, mild Cloti associated through letters received and a Cid/Shera notice.**

**Disclaimer:** **WOOT! I don't own FF7! (Well I DO…own the game…but y'know…not the ideas or whatnot…) **

Cid, Tifa, Cloud and Barrett all sat around a center table inside Turtle's Paradise. The room was loud, excited and packed full of people celebrating. There was a upbeat song playing, making the whole building seem to vibrate with the bass lines. Some people were dancing and others were sitting at the bar, singing along.

Cloud and Tifa were laughing about something as I came up behind Cid, holding a shot of sake.

"PAAARRRTYYY!" I shouted excitedly, bobbing my head.

"Right in my fuckin' ear, kid!" Cid yelled, standing up angrily, knocking over his chair.

I backed away from Cid, who was now cowering over me and scratched my head nervously.

"Oh, calm down Cid," Tifa said, tugging on his shirt.

Cid, glaring at me one last time, took out a cigarette and lit it up. He took a long drag, straightened his chair back, and sat down.

"Aren't you a little under aged to be drinking?" Cloud said, gesturing to my shot.

"Hell no!" I giggled, taking the shot, squeezing my eyes shut as it ran down my throat, "In Wutai, there is no age limit."

"Man, I shoulda grown up in Wutai then," Cid laughed, taking a big drink of his beer.

"Where'd Red go?" Barrett asked, looking around.

I glanced over to a spot in the corner where Red was watching Godo throw darts.

"He's with my old man," I said, still watching them.

"Oh," Tifa said, "I wonder if can even throw darts?"

"I doubt it," Cloud laughed, "He is a lion…dog…thing. He doesn't have hands Tifa."

"Well you never know!" Tifa said, giving Cloud a small, harmless punch on the shoulder.

"True," Cloud said, "Red always seems to surprise me."

"Oh, I love this song!" I said, bobbing my head again to the tune, "Anyone wanna dance?"

"You're completely drunk Yuffie," Cloud observed.

"C'monnnn," I pleaded, "I wanna daaaance!"

"Why don'tcha go dance with tall, dark and brooding over there?" Cid sneered, flicking his head over to the back door.

"Maybe I WILL!" I said stubbornly, sticking my tongue out at him.

I turned on my heel and walked over to Vincent. He was standing with his eyes closed by the open back door. The wind from outside was whipping through his hair and he didn't look like he was having an ounce of fun.

I was on a mission to change that.

"Vinnie!" I said, hooking my arm in his, "Let's dance, okay? I REALLY like this song and nobody will dance with me."

"No," he said, without even opening his eyes.

"Pleeeease!" I said, jumping up and down, "Please, please, pleaseeeee! I'm not gonna leave until you dance with me!"

"Ugh," he sighed, looking a little deflated.

"It's not like I wanna hack off your arm," I said, frowning at him, "You don't have to act like it's so horrible, just to have a little fun."

He opened his red gleaming eyes and looked at me. I stared back at him, pleading silently.

'_C'MON! PLEEEEAAASEEEE!' I said psychically to him._

"If I dance with you to one dance, will you leave me alone?" he asked, in an aggravated tone.

"Yea, yea!" I smiled happily, "My word as a ninja!"

"Is that really worth anything?" he asked, raising an eyebrow so far that it faded up into his bandana.

"Yes!"

"If you say so…"

"I do. Now let's DANCE!" I said, dragging him over to the dance floor gleefully.

I watched everyone give Vincent sort of a 'better you than me' wave.

_Jerks! I will spite them all and dance awesomely with Vinnie! And I will make Vinnie smile and sparkle and everyone will be in AWE of me! MWAHAHAH!_

We finally squeezed our way into the center when Vincent tapped my shoulder.

"Yea?" I yelled over the music.

"I don't really know how to dance," he yelled back.

"No worries!" I said, letting go of his hand, "Just watch me and let your body just move!"

The song had a steady, fast beat. It bounced and screamed with bass and the vocals were fun and entrancing. The chorus came on as I started to let my body move. I rocked with the beat. I twisted my arms around, twirled my waist, bent my knees and touched the ground.

Vincent watched me curiously. He was the only one standing completely still in the middle of the waving, squirming mob. Finally, but very hesitantly, he started to sway.

"Yea!" I cheered, "But loosen up more!"

I grabbed his hands and shook him back and forth.

"Hey, baby," I heard someone yell behind me.

I turned around and came face to face with some greasy, ugly dude.

"Baby, he's a freak, let's dance," he shouted, loud enough for Vincent to hear too.

"Forget it!" I yelled back, turning back to Vinnie.

His red eyes were looking sadly at the floor. So I wrapped an arm coyly around his waist and twirled a strand of his long black hair with the other hand. I looked directly at the greaseball.

"I'd rather dance with my angstmuffin over anyone, any day," I yelled.

The greaseball glared at both of us and stalked off into the crowd.

I looked up at Vinnie, who was now looking at me incredulously. I winked at him with a toothy grin.

"C'mon the song is almost over!" I said, getting back to into the beat.

This time Vinnie seemed to fade into the music. He danced well enough. I loved to dance! I felt my hair bounce around with my body. I twirled my waist again and threw my arms up into the air, feeling ecstatic. My eardrums were vibrating and my adrenaline was pumping.

Unfortunately the song ended way before I wanted it to. The next song was slow too. Stupid slow songs. They were so uncool.

"Hey," I said, slapping Vinnie's back, "You did great! That was fun!"

He gave me a strange look and we walked off of the dance floor.

"…Thank you," he said.

He looked at me strangely again; hesitantly standing there, and, then, with what seemed like a second thought, stalked away outside before I could even call him a weirdo.

'_Oh well…' I thought to myself, musing, 'Next time I will definitely get him to do shots.'_

I grinned evilly and then went over to the bar to have a drinking competition with Godo.

-/-/-/-/-

I awoke with a pounding headache. The world swirled around as I sat up and I cursed loudly. I began to remember the night before.

_Hehe_…_I had so won the drinking competition against Godo **AND** Cid. I am the drinking master. All hail the drinking-! **OWMYHEADHURTSLIKEA&$#$!**_

I decided against standing up or sitting up for any longer, and laid back down, fading back into the darkness of my dreams.

-/-/-/-/-

There was annoying rapping sound coming from the other side of my door.

…_AUGH_ THERE IT WAS AGAIN!

"Yuffie?" a voice called.

"No!" I wailed, turning over, "No Yuffie!"

The rapping sound persisted and I wondered if I was going to either set the person on fire OR was I going to slice their head off with my shuriken. When Godo walked in, I decided on the shuriken. It was so much cleaner, as long as I caught the head and the body before it fell on the ground and bleeding all over my tatami mats.

"Yuffie," Godo sighed, "Your friends are going to leave soon. Didn't you say you'd equip them for the journey home?"

_Ugh. Me and my stupid promises. I officially hate promises._

"…Yes," I growled, throwing my pillow at Godo, "Tell them to go on ahead to the weapon and item shops. Tell them to pick out whatever they want. Anything at all. It's all on the house. I'll be there as soon as I finish getting ready."

_And take the biggest painkiller I can find…_

-/-/-/-/-

Vincent Valentine

"Sorry," Godo said, "Yuffie says to go on ahead and take whatever you want. It's all on us. She'll be over there as soon as she can."

"Are you sure?" Tifa asked, looking a little guilty, "I mean, we may need a lot of stuff. It's a pretty long journey, even on the Highwind, to Midgar."

"It's fine," Godo replied, "Anything you want, as much as you need. Yuffie says so. So go on!"

Cloud nodded and we trekked down to the item shop. We stocked up on potions and ethers.

"I think we'll need a few tranquilizers too," Cloud said to the owner.

After we got all the items we needed, we walked to the weapon shop.

"Hey!" the weapon shop owner crowed, "I got all the good stuff in the back." He gestured for us to go back there as he walked over to the door, "Feel free to get whatever catches your fancy. I'm gonna get a quick coffee from the item shop. He brews a pot every morning. After last night I really need one!"

Cloud nodded at him and I disappeared into the back room. I scanned the shelves for a nice looking revolver. I saw a sturdy looking .9mm and picked it up. It felt unnaturally light in my grip. It would probably be useful. I loaded it and tucked it safely in my waist belt. I took a quick minute to confirm all of my materia that I was equipped with as well. Poison, Earth, Counter Attack, Sense and Neo Bahamut glowed brightly back at me.

I was satisfied with my materia and I glanced over at the darkest corner of the back room. I saw something smiling at me. Intrigued, I walked over to examine it.

In the corner was a statue of a white cat, smiling largely at me, with one paw up in the air. On the small plaque that the cat was sitting on top of read "Cat Fu: Highly Dangerous."

_Odd…_

Underneath of it, sitting neatly on a plush, magenta cushion, sat a curious yellow materia orb. The materia glowed oddly at my attention, almost like it was smiling itself.

_Cat Fu, eh? I wonder what kind of skills it has. I've always wanted to try a new Command materia. I like working them up to their mastered levels. Sense was already half-way worked when Cloud gave it to me. They haven't let me work anything up. This could be my chance…_

I picked up the materia cautiously. I walked back into the main room.

"Do you think they'd mind if I took this?" I asked.

"What is it?" Cid asked, "I don't recognize it."

"It's Cat Fu," I replied, examining it some more, "It seems authentic."

"Ooh," Tifa said, her eyes getting large, "I've never heard of Cat Fu before! I bet it would work great on me."

"He found it," Cloud said, giving judgment fairly, "He can equip it. I'm sure no one will mind. They already expressed that they care zero percent about our gil and that whatever we want, we can take. Seems fine with me."

"Yeah," Barrett said, raising an eyebrow at the materia, "Seems kinda floofy or some shit ta me. What the hell is 'Cat Fu' anyway? Even the name sounds stupid."

"Any kind of Fu is considered highly advanced and dangerous," Tifa replied, "It'll take some patience to master, but in the end, I bet it'll be worth it."

"Says the floofy girl," Barrett replied, still looking skeptically at it.

"Hey!" Tifa said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Go ahead and equip it Vincent," Cloud said, "See what it's got."

I examined it one more time and then attached it securely to my belt as Yuffie sprang through the front door.

"Morninggg!" Yuffie said eagerly.

I realized that I still felt a little odd about last night. I have never had anyone wrap their arms around me like that. Lucretia hugged me sometimes, but it was a friendly type of hug, not a seductive one like Yuffie had given me last night. I know she was only doing it to set that man off the edge and to encourage me a bit more into dancing, but it still felt sexual. Actually, everything about dancing felt sexual. And anything sexual makes me feel more than uncomfortable. However I tried my best, which Yuffie seemed to enjoy the effort.

"Wait…" Yuffie said, looking closely at me, "OMIGOD!"


	2. KITTY!

**This chapter's a little bit short. Oh well. I'm the author and I don't care! MWAHAHAH! **

**Disclaimer:** **I own only my own black cat, who likes to sleep in frying pans. He is an odd one. Yet, he was my inspiration. I even was contemplating changing his name to Vinnie-poo after this idea popped into my kooky head. However, my mom told me that Vinnie-poo was a weird name, and that I was obsessed with video games… HA! WHAT DOES SHE KNOW! …Ahem.**

I was feeling quite good after I took a few elixirs and a couple of pills later I was definitely my old self again.

_Oh, I count the ways I love thee, morphine._

I had put on a normal kimono too, since I wasn't leaving with everyone. It had a simple lotus flower design, with lots of color. My hair was getting longer too. Long enough that I could pull it back into a small bun. My hair grows like a weed so it was always such a hassle keeping it cut short, especially when we would journey into the middle of nowhere, trekking for weeks on end. My roots were practically laughing at me.

I had even managed to get the last warm rice cake Chekhov had made on the way out of the palace. Everything was pointing to a fabulous warm day, until I walked into the weapon shop.

"Morninggg!" I said eagerly to everyone.

I gave everyone a little wave and shut the door behind me. Everyone seemed to be picking out something. I noticed Vincent's belt was full with materia too. That was weird. He usually didn't load up on materia. What's he got on?

"Wait…" I said, looked closely at all the materias and gasped a little bit, "OMIGOD!"

"What?" Vincent asked.

"NOOOO!" I howled, running over to him.

I tried to pull at the yellow materia I knew too well, but it was useless. It was already stuck there.

_Dammit! This isn't good! Gotta hurry!_

"Where's Ranho?" I asked, shaking a little, "Where's Ranho!"

"Uh, he went to get some coffee I think," Cloud said, "What's wrong?"

_Shit shit shit!_

I ran over to the front door and held it open, screaming, "Ranho!"

Soon, the short store owner came running over to me. He was panting by the time he stopped in front of me.

"Yes, lady?" he asked.

"Look!" I said hysterically, pointing at Vincent's belt, "Didn't you tell them!"

Ranho looked at Vincent and then down to Vincent's belt. His face puffed out as he realized the materia that was equipped.

"Forgive me!" Ranho said, dropping to the floor, bowing at my feet, "I didn't even think about it! It's so common for everyone to know that I just forgot!"

"What can we do!" I said, still pretty hysterical.

"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do now!" Ranho said desperately.

I sighed heavily, looking sadly at Vincent, "Rise, Ranho."

I walked over to Vincent and calmly placed my hand on his shoulder, however awkward it was, since he was a good foot or so taller than I.

"I've got some bad news," I said, staring into Vincent's probing red eyes, "You've equipped the Cat Fu materia without knowing what it does, and what it will do to you."

"Huh?" Tifa interjected, "Materia that has side effects?"

"A really long time ago, the Cat Fu was the pride of Da Chao, and we worshipped its greatness. It was the most easily attainable destructive power we had ever known. It didn't take too long to master and it had vast strengths and abilities. However, Leviathian, upon seeing this, cursed the materia. Cat Fu is now almost impossibly to attain because of the curse resting on it."

"And this curse?" Vincent said calmly.

"Cat Fu, upon equipping it, cannot be removed and…"

"And?"

"And will turn you into a cat."

"What!" Cid exclaimed, "What kinda bullshit is that!"

"I'm afraid you'll only be human for another half hour," I said, still staring at Vincent, "If that."

"How long does the transformation last?" Red asked.

"We aren't sure," I said, dropping my hand down to my side, "The Cat Fu has only been equipped one other time before, by a pesky tourist, and it passed out of his system after a week or so. But for a person who was actually a warrior, it may last until he or she learns and understands the Cat Fu."

I looked over at Vincent again, who was now looking positively distraught. My heart ached for the poor guy. This was probably really sucky news to him.

"What about Midgar?" he mumbled.

"Well, a big 'ol cat like Red is one thing, but if you're gonna turn into a little kitten, I don't think ya oughta go," Barrett said, scratching his head, "But who'd look after ya? You're gonna need somebody to depend on now. Somebody who'll feed ya and water ya and scoop your fuckin' poop. Marlene likes cats but I guarantee after about a week she'll be forgettin' to feed ya. Hell, you might even starve to death."

"We're all going to be too busy helping the people at Midgar that we won't have time to take care of you either!" Tifa said, "What should we do? Should we postpone?"

"We can't," Cloud said urgently, "There are still people alive and trapped in Midgar's ruins! We're the strongest group around and we inspire people now. They look up to us. If we back out, we might indirectly be killing those people. I can't have that on my conscious."

"Calm down, calm down," I said, waving my arms, "Duh, everyone, it's okay! I wasn't going to start with! There's plenty of food in Wutai! I can take care of him!"

Everyone got deadly silent. I swear I heard a cricket chirping. They seemed to all be looking at me, sizing me up, except for Vincent, who sadly looked at the Cat Fu materia, probably cursing himself. Hell, I would.

"What'dya looking at me like that!" I said, waving my arms around again, "I can feed Vinnie, no prob! I'll have Gorki on poop control though."

"We don't really have any choice," Cloud said finally, looking over at Vincent.

"It's fine. It's not your predicament anyway," Vincent said.

"We're sorry," Tifa said, "But you'll be okay here. Hopefully…"

"What'dya mean HOPEFULLY!" I said, continuing to wave my arms, "What do you people think of me anyway! I'm not a homicidal cat killer! He will be absolutely 100 percent safe and happy with me."

"Duno 'bout that 'happy' shit," Cid said, taking a deep drag from his cig, "But I feel for ya Valentine. I hope she won't drive ya outta your fuckin' mind. I sure as hell know that I'd slit my throat before I got left here with her."

"HEY!" I yelled, "Why don't you shut your fucking mouth!"

"Why don't you open your fucking mouth so I can stick my spear down your fucking throat!"

We cussed at each other until Vincent dragged me behind his crazily tall frame and said, in a very final tone, "Enough."

"Tch," Cid said, flicking his butt to the floor and stomping it viciously out.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Tifa asked.

"I'll be fine. There's no where else for me to stay and Yuffie has generously offered," Vincent said, "So I will graciously accept."

Suddenly Vincent gasped loudly and he began to change rapidly. He vanished into his cloak and after it had plopped onto the floor, a small, black fuzzy cat had leaped out. He looked up at me with red eyes.

The transformation was complete. Vinnie was officially a cute widdle black cat.

_I dub thee Sir Fuzzy Butt!_


	3. Minutes to register

**Woot! I'm glad some people like my story! I know it's a little weird, but weird is good. Oh yes, weird is very, _very_ good. **

**Disclaimer: I don't #)&(# own FF7! **

**Me: Thanks Cid**

**Cid: No #(&(&$#()()#(&#&!($(&")#$# problem.**

I waved to my departing friends. They disappeared into the Highwind and it soared above the clouds, heading towards Midgar.

I was going to go with them, but I had too much stuff to take care of here in Wutai. Like getting rid of all these stinking TOURISTS!

I scowled at an elderly couple taking my picture. _Stupid, ugly, OLD TOURISTS!_ Their flash went off, blinding me, and they walked away, oblivious to my rage.

"RAWR!" I yelled, picking up Vinnie, "Tourists make me wanna SET THINGS ON FIRE!"

'…That's nice,' he replied.

"WHOA!" I exclaimed, almost dropping Vinnie, "You can talk! Or…er…send me psychic messages!"

'I suppose.'

"Am I the only one who can hear you?"

'Who knows.'

I squeezed him affectionately. Cats were so _cute_!

'Are you going to tell anyone about what happened?'

"Nah," I replied, walking towards the Pagoda, "I don't wanna get Ranho into any more trouble. Besides, this way he'll only be my personal slave. I don't wanna share with Godo."

'…'

"Vinnie I'm glad you stayed."

'…I am only staying out of consequence.'

"But still, I don't like being alone that much."

'This coming from the girl who lived in a forest for some odd years?'

"Well I did that 'cause I had to."

'You wouldn't be alone anyway. You have Godo here and everyone else."

"BWAHAHA GODO," I laughed heartily, "That's a good one Vin. I'm glad you understand how to joke now."

I hopped up the steps to the Pagoda and merrily trotted inside. Gorki sat in a pile of pillows, enthusiastically picking his nose.

"GROSS!" I shouted, pointing my finger at him. He leapt at least two feet into the air and his face turned bright red.

"M-Miss Yuffie!"

"YOU WERE PICKING YOUR NOSE!"

"Was not!"

"WAS TOO!"

"Err, I most certainly was not picking my nose!" Gorki stuttered, trying to change the subject, "Is there a reason you came to the Pagoda this morning?"

"You were TOTALLY picking your nose!" I laughed, putting Vinnie on the floor, "And, yea, I need to see my old man and you."

"What do you need from me?"

"I need ya to go find some cat equipment."

"Huh?"

"Y'know! Like a dish and a poop container or somethin'!"

"Er, certainly, Miss Yuffie," Gorki replied, walking past me. I heard him stop and hesitate by the door, "U-Um…Miss Yuffie?"

"What now?" I asked, still not turning around to face him.

"Y-You won't…tell…anyone, will you?"

"EW!" I yelled, whirling around, "Get lost you nose-picking FREAK!"

He ran out the door and I picked up Vinnie again and began my long trek up the Pagoda.

_UUUUGHHH! I'M OUTTA SHAPE! pant pant_

'Yuffie, you look terrible.'

"SHUDDAP YOU CAT!"

Sweat was pouring down my face and I felt like I was melting. I gasped my way up the ungodly amount of stairs and finally reached my old man.

"Yuffie, you look terrible."

"SHUDDAP YOU CAT!"

"I'm not a cat," Godo said, staring at me. I felt a pair of red eyes staring at me too.

_HAHAHAH! I WAS PERFECTLY SANE!_

"Yea, well, who cares!" I said, quickly changing the subject, "Hey, old man, I got a cat now."

I gestured to Vinnie and set him down. Vinnie sat down serenely and looked straight ahead at Godo.

"…Kinda creepy for a cat," Godo said, staring back at it, "Red eyes too. Doesn't someone else have red eyes that you know?"

Godo put his finger on his chin, looking as if he was deep in thought.

"I duno," I said quickly, "Maybe. It's not like I stare into everyone's eyes and memorize their eye color! Cloud could have pink eyes for all I know!"

"Red eyes kinda stand out though," Godo said, "I think you would notice at least them."

"Well I don't!" I protested, "Anyway, he's my cat. So get use to seeing him around the palace."

"I hope I'm not allergic," Godo said, "We've never had a cat before."

"Even if you are allergic, he's still stayin'!" I grumbled.

"Is that all?" Godo asked, obviously bored with us now.

"No," I said, "Another thing, when are you gonna VACATE ALL THE DAMN TOURISTS! I brought you a whole crap load of materia to help cope with what we lost and I still haven't seen ya do a goddamn thing!"

"Just because you brought some dinky materia doesn't mean anything," Godo said, "We're already this way. We can't go back to how it was before."

"Says you!" I yelled, "You're just lazy! If you won't do anything then I will!"

"What can you do?" Godo sneered, "You're just a whiny little brat."

"And you're just a fat old decaying NOBODY! I can do a whole lot more than you ever would!"

"Just get out," Godo snapped, losing his patience, "I don't need to hear your yapping in the Pagoda. I get enough of it in the palace."

"Fine!" I snapped back, also losing my patience, and scooping up Vinnie with one arm, "I'm getting tired of looking at your FAT STUPID FACE ANYWAY!"

I stomped out of the fifth floor and stomped all the way down to the first where Gorki sat on his pillows again, looking rather satisfied with himself.

"Oh, Miss!" Gorki said, grabbing a giant bag, "Here's all the cat equipment I could find."

"Thank you Gorki," I replied, still fuming from my old man. I snatched the bag and continued to stomp out of the Pagoda.

I walked into the palace, put Vinnie down, threw the bag into some corner and slammed the sliding door shut.

"FAT STUPID OLD MAN!" I yelled, stalking into the kitchen.

--

(((Vincent)))

I sat calmly next to the door where Yuffie had set me down. It was odd, having someone carry you around. And it was rather annoying the way Yuffie promptly snuggled her face into my stomach every 2.5 minutes. I think a timer went off in her brain every 2.5 minutes and she realized, yet again, that I was now a cat. And she was holding me. So, logically, in her mind, the only other possible thing she could do was squeeze me a little tighter and say how cute and fuzzy I was.

I followed Yuffie as she stomped into the kitchen. She seemed to be fuming with anger. Not that I could blame her. Godo seemed to be unusually harsh on his daughter. I would assume that every 2.5 minutes Yuffie and her father simultaneously realized that they were talking, in a room, together and immediately knew that 2.5 minutes was far too long. I come to this conclusion merely because the conversation that they held was so short and seemed to get venomous as they progressed. Which leads me to another question: how did Gorki get all of those supplies so quickly?

I dropped the question almost immediately as I thought of it since I found Yuffie sitting, with her head in her hands, at the table.

I sighed, sitting casually right beside her.

We sat in silence for a small period. (2.5 minutes I'm assuming again.) Although I had no idea Yuffie could sit in silence at all. The only time she was quiet was for that split second when she was pulling in air to fill her lungs so she could rant anew.

"Vinnie?" she said, in a morbid tone I had never heard from her before.

My ears pushed themselves back and I stared into her face as best I could. Even though she was horribly annoying sometimes I would rather that she stayed cheerful and hyper. The depressing tone in her voice was unnerving at best.

"Vinnie?" she asked again, in that same tone.

My eyes bore into her, 'Yes?'

"Do you think I'm worthless?"

My ears pushed themselves back more, if that was possible. What a horrifying question, especially coming from Yuffie.

'What sort of ridiculous question is that?'

She laughed wryly, "It is ridiculous, but please give me answer."

I paused for a moment. Yuffie was certainly not worthless, but I was not one to console. In fact, I'm pretty sure that a rooted plant would be better at consoling a person than I.

'You are not worthless,' I said firmly, worrying about where this would lead to.

"Then, why does everyone hate me?" she asked, lifting her head out of her hands.

There were tear marks on her cheeks and a frown on her lips.

There was a pinpricking emotion somewhere in my body. I ignored it.

'No one hates you and you're a fool if you think otherwise.'

"It's true!" she said softly, giving me a desperate look, "I was always an outcast. Nobody in the group really liked me. Especially after what I did, stealing all your materia. Cloud almost never put me in the party and I was always left out. No one wanted to share a room with me, or talk to me, or even be around me. And Godo's the same, worse even."

'It's true you don't socialize well, but no one hates you. As you should distinctly recall, I was outcast with you.'

She sighed, "I suppose you have a point. But still…"

She lingered in her self-pity for a moment and then stood up and got a drink of water. She closed her eyes while she drank it.

I watched her intently. I had nothing better to do. She seemed very calm as she drank the water. Almost as if she was savoring the water. Although there wasn't too much taste to water. Water tasted like water and nothing else. Perhaps she was just deep in thought.

After she had finished with her drink she promptly walked back out into the foyer. I heard the rustling of a bag and then quickened footsteps.

"Vinnie!" she called to me, in her usual cheery voice.

I relaxed and then was puzzled at myself. Why had I been tense to start with?

"VINNIEEEE!" she called again.

'Yes, yes,' I called back, trotting to meet her voice.


	4. Mr Butters

_**I'll keep you my dirty little secret**_

**I duno, this story reminds me a little bit of the song Dirty Little Secret by the All American Rejects. Vinnie is Yuffie's dirty little secret. **

**I know this chappie is a little short but I wanted to post it anyway. I may edit it later anyway since I'm sure I have a typo somewhere.**

**Disclaimer: Ah yes, I secretly do not own FF7.**

-/-/-/-/-

**Vincent**

It was certainly very odd, living with a woman. I had never lived alone with any female before. Well, actually, we weren't technically living alone, but Godo hardly ever made an appearance at the palace. The only other soul that I saw was Yuffie's personal maid, Yoshiko. She was an older lady with crinkles around her eyes and an alarming chuckle that sounded quite similar to Yuffie's.

Time was passing by innocently. I wasn't exactly sure how long it had been since I had turned into a cat, but it had to be at least a month.

Yuffie's presence was actually quite soothing. She was bubbly and talkative, yes, but she was also quiet sometimes, reading to herself or gently humming while polishing her weapons. We had even developed a nightly ritual. Every night we would walk up to Da Chao and watch the stars from Third Face's hand. And when it would rain, as it usual does, we would sit inside and she would read to me.

It was strange at first, sitting in her lap, but it proceeded to be the most comfortable spot in the whole palace.

-/-/-/-/-

"Hey Vinnie," Yuffie smiled cheerfully, plopping down on a pillow beside me, "Can you turn the pages okay?"

'Yes, thank you,' I replied.

"Yoshiko is making my bath," she said, shivering a bit. It was starting to get quite cold.

'You do smell particularly strong today,' I mused.

"WHAT!" Yuffie shrieked, "You're so mean! That's a horrible thing to say to a young l-a-d-y!"

'Since when did you start referring to yourself as a lady?'

"Since…always!"

'I don't think so.'

"Well, fine, but I am starting now! After all, my old man thinks it's time for me to start 'acting responsibly' and 'take on a fiance', but I think he's just getting senile. Only in an alternate universe would I agree to marrying a complete stranger. Let alone some fat, pug-faced son of some wealthy business man."

'Sometimes when in a position of power you are obligated to do things for your country and not for the personal gain of your own self.'

"Well, duh. What the heck did you think I was doin' in a nasty, monster infested forest for three years?"

'Picking on innocent passerbys?'

"They were honored to be chosen by the daughter of Leviathan to help forward the liveliness of the majestic Wutai."

'I'm quite sure they didn't see it as majestically as you do.'

"Jeez, it's in the past anyway!"

'I don't judge your actions, and I never will. Please don't get offended.'

"Like I ever would, coming from you. I don't want to pout to much and shut you up for another year. You're fun to talk to now that you actually talk back."

'It's not like you ever stopped talking long enough for me to respond in the first place…'

"What did you say? Sorry I wasn't listening."

'I said--'

"HUUUUH! Whaaat?" she said, plugging her ears.

"Miss Yuffie!" Yoshiko said, sliding the door open, bowing her head slightly, "Your bath is ready."

"Thanks Yoshi," she said, standing up and bouncing off into the bathroom.

'Good lord,' I thought to myself, 'She has nicknames for everyone.'

The maid, however, was giving me a weird smile.

"…Hi kitty!" she smiled, waving at me.

Oh my.

-/-/-/-/-

**Yuffie**

Oh baths! I loved baths! Love, love, LOOOOVE!

I wriggled out of my clothes that I would certainly have to wash since Vinnie had said that I smelled 'strong'.

I hesitantly lifted up my arm and took a quick sniff.

…

…

Hmm…maybe Vinnie was right.

I hopped into the toasty warm water and laid back. I dunked my head under quickly and began scrubbing at my hair. I sunk back under the water into the blissful quiet and popped my head back up when I ran out of air. I was half-way done with scrubbing myself with soap when Yoshiko ripped the door open, holding a very deranged looking Vincent under her arm.

"Miss Yuffie when I was a girl, my kitty and I always took baths together! Mr. Butters would let me wash him up all pretty and then I'd comb him afterwards," Yoshiko said, sighing dreamily, probably reminiscing, "So I thought since you seem to be as close to your kitty as I use to be with Mr. Butters, you would love to take a bath with him!"

It took me about 2 minutes to realize that Vincent was the cat in question and that he was staring horribly fixated at my boobs.

I screamed loud enough to wake Da Chao.

Yoshiko just giggled though and threw Vincent on the floor mercilessly and closed the door behind her.

"Nooooo!" I wailed, sinking as far as possible in the water, vainly trying to cover myself with floating suds, "VINNIE YOU PERV!"

After a few more awkward moments I managed to snatch my towel and dry off while Vincent pretended to be very interested in the corner. I grabbed my robe and tied it securely on.

I opened the door and we both avoided each other for the remainder of the night, equally embarrassed.

-/-/-/-/-

**Vincent**

Later, after the Bath Incident was completely forgot and marginally erased from both of our minds, fall began to slowly creep into winter. It was a particularly cold evening and the entire palace seemed to shiver. The wind was howling mercilessly against the walls.

Yuffie and I were just finishing up our latest book about materia history and we were both getting ready for bed.

"I wonder if I should be brushing your teeth," Yuffie said offhandedly as she put the book back onto the bookshelf.

'I don't think it would yield any results.'

"But what if you turn back into a human and your teeth are all yellow and your breath forever smells of tuna!"

'I suppose we will have to deal with that when it comes along.'

"Say, it's really cold tonight, isn't it?"

'Yes, quite. I sometimes wonder if your father secretly has a heater in the pagoda, since he has started to hibernate there.'

"Probably. He likes to hoard things in the pagoda," she said, looking down at me nervously, "Vinnie? I know this is going to sound weird, but, do you wanna sleep with me in my bed? We'd both be warmer that way. And I would totally not know what to do if you caught a cold. Cats can catch colds can't they?"

I looked up at her, surprised, 'Would that really be suitable? You are a young woman. It wouldn't be right, a man like me sleeping with you, even for warmth.'

"What'dya mean 'a man like you'? And, no offense, but you aren't really a man right now, and nobody knows you use to be a man. So it'd just be between you and me. I'm okay with it, if you are."

'…I don't know.'

"C'mon," she said, scooping me up affectionately, "It's fine."

And with that she walked into her room and shut the door. She collapsed in her futon and pulled the covers up to her shoulders and snuggled into her pillow. I burrowed slightly under the covers next to her face and she smiled at me and then shut her eyes.

"Nighty night Vinnie."

'Sweet dreams Yuffie.'

And that night, sleep came faster and more soothingly than it ever had in years.

-/-/-/-/-

I awoke earlier that morning, just as the sun was coming up. Yuffie had sprawled more significantly and was still fast asleep.

I had never set foot in her room before this point. I thought it was a matter of privacy. I was already invading her house so I had no intentions of straying into her room.

Something red caught my eye before I had time to re-burrow and fall back asleep. I approached my old clothes laying neatly folded in a chair beside her closet. On closer inspection I realized that not only where they freshly washed, but my cape and clothes had been mended.

A warm feeling washed over me as I realized that Yuffie had probably sewn them up. I remembered all of the times she locked herself in her room during the day while I would prowl around town.

I had not expected her to be so thoughtful.

I pushed the warm feeling away though. There was no place for affections anymore in my heart. She was a young woman now, no matter which way you looked at it, but she was still too innocent and carefree to be tainted by someone so impure as myself.

I sighed silently and crawled back into the bed comfortably next to Yuffie.

I looked at her for a long time before I finally shut my eyes and floated back into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Cherries and Cream

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I don't plan on giving this story up. I'm just slow to update. I had a lot of stuff to do lately and I just got back from a week vacation. Anyway! Here's a new chappie!**

**/--Yuffie--\\\**

Time was passing by pretty quick, and it kinda sucks. Vinnie and I are having such good quality time. It's been almost 6 months since Vinnie equipped the Cat Fu material and we haven't seen any changes. I secretly think that Vinnie enjoys being a cat. He's getting fat too. Maybe I'm feeding him too much? HA! That'll be hilarious if he turns back and then has a beer-belly. …If.

I wouldn't mind if he didn't change back into his vampire-esque form. I liked having him as a companion. I've…I've never had someone who didn't mind being around me all day. Especially Vinnie. I just assumed that he was broody 24/7. Which, okay, he is, but he's also witty and nice. He's, like, super nice. And I…I've really enjoyed this time. I think it's going to be really hard for me to let him go.

But, don't go tellin' him I said that. I don't want him to get a big head about it, or get all confused and frustrated. I can just hear him now 'no, I love Lucrecy, I can't betray her love even though she's dead and I have a problem.' Err, well, of COURSE he doesn't love ME, but, but…ah, f#$ it. I don't know what I'm trying to say.

**/--Vincent---\\\**

I had never really indulged in laziness before, and as I have been a cat I've realized that laziness is the epitome of being cat-like. I am thoroughly enjoying being lazy too. I've always tried to steer clear of it because of its addictive nature, and now, I believe, I am addicted. What a shame…and somehow, I still don't care.

I do want to be human again though. Being a cat is very…likeable. Oh yes, very likeable. But every time I unconsciously start to lick my butt, I feel quite disgusted. There was even one day, when the inner cat got the best of me; I sprayed on one of Yuffie's spare futons. Yuffie even caught me in mid-act. I was too embarrassed to speak so I ran off and hid. Those are the downsides to being an animal.

The upsides are quite surprising really. I had never expected to bond with Yuffie. We are inseparable now. She will walk with me around town and we will chat for long periods of time and we'll eat dinner together. It's relaxing.

I never thought I was lonely before. But now I know I must have been. When Yuffie has to travel outside of town for something, like her favorite flowers that grow just at the bottom of the small cluster of mountains that guard Wutai, I will have to stay at the palace. And I feel restless until she returns. When she slides open that flimsy door she gives me a blindingly beautiful smile, and I am so happy to see her. I've never felt that way before.

It's strange, but, I sometimes wonder if becoming human again will affect this friendly relationship we have made. I truly hope not, although I can see Cid mercilessly making fun of me for becoming close with Yuffie.

-/-/-/-/-/-

"Vinnie! We have to start picking up soon!" I said, sighing, "Chocobo Head and everyone are gonna be here any minute!"

'Don't exaggerate, Yuffie.'

"I'm not exaggerating! …Oh, mannnn… Cloud is going to freak when he sees all this stuff…"

'I'm sure he won't really care seeing that it's your house.'

"I think being a cat is making your brain process stuff slower or somethin' cause Cloud is TOTALLY gonna freak," I said, hurrying to get a trash bag, "He's gonna think something really GROSS. I can already see the look on his face as he turns to us, disgusted, trying to form words but instead just lookin' like a stupid fish out of water!"

'I highly doubt it. Since when has Cloud ever jumped to conclusions? …Wait, don't answer that.'

"HA! Like…ALWAYS?"

'We'll simply tell him the truth. I don't think that it's impossible for a human and a cat to suddenly feel the urge to have a whip cream fight."

"Yeah, yeah. With cherries too. OH GOD! I think I'm going to start hyperventilating."

'Calm down Yuffie.'

The whole house looked like it had exploded. We had a whip cream fight late last night out of no where. I was just making a sundae and I looked very closely at the bottle and sprayed Vinnie in the eye. Why Godo kept 2 cans of whip cream in the refrigerate, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.

Anyway, once Vinnie finally got his paws on one of them, he was actually using it quite well. Too well. It took us awhile to move the fight to the living room though. Vinnie had to roll his bottle off of the kitchen table and into the next room. After we ran out of whip cream I began throwing cherries at him and we were having so much fun I guess we just collapsed amid the mess. I was woken up this morning by a lovely PHS call from Cloudy Head saying they were ON THEIR WAY TO SEE US!

Cloud: Hey Yuffie. We're on our way to stop by and check on ya. See you in a few.

Me: Oh, cool. …Wait. WHAT!

Cloud: click

Me: SON OF A #(&#)(&$)(#&$!($"!"?$(&$& (I've always listening closely to Cid. Even when it didn't make sense. Like #$ in your momma's !$ #$#$ $$$$$$$. How is that even possible?)

I should have said more often how I'm totally NOT INTO inter-species erotica.

'Yuffie,' Vinnie said quite calmly.

"WHAAAAT!" I groaned, melting to the floor, resting on my knees.

'I think I can hear the Highwind.'

I whimpered, running a hand through my hair, "OW!"

Apparently, my hair was matted with whip cream. And I saw that Vinnie had a cherry stuck in the fur on his stomach.

We were so gonna have some explaining to do.

I heard a knock on the door and saw Cloud walk into the living room followed by Tifa, Cid, Red and Cait Sith. Everyone took a millisecond to evaluate the situation and then I heard a thud, which was Tifa passing out, and then simultaneously everyone's jaw dropped.

Red was already turning around to walk away.

"Nooooooooooo! It's not what it seems!"

'Does everyone really have that low of a standard for me?'

"HOLY #(&#(&!" Cid said, his eyes bulging out, "Did the furball actually SPEAK?"

"He's BEEN speaking since he transformed!" I said, huffing, hands on my hips.

"Yuffie, Vincent, I just… I thought you had more taste… This-this is…" Cloud said, mouth gaping like a fish.

"I TOLD you they'd react like this!" I said, glaring at Vinnie.

'Everyone, just listen. Nothing happened. I'm not really sure what you think _could_ have happened, seeing as I'm a cat. Honestly.'

"YEAH! Pick your minds up and out of the gutter and wipe 'em off! How GROSS!"

'Yuffie…'

"Okay, I'll let Vinnie be the voice of reason here. But seriously…gross."

'I know it might seem strange, but we were just having a whip cream fight.'

"And the cherries?" Cloud said, raising his eyebrow.

'Once we ran out of whip cream, Yuffie began to throw them at my head.'

"No #& wonder. Don't you wanna rip your fur out by now, being alone with this crazy #& brat?" Cid asked, lighting a cigarette.

'Actually, I am quite enjoying this time.'

Everyone's jaw dropped anew.

"Vinnie, you're not doing a very good job. That is totally not the right thing to say."

'I won't lie. Yuffie has been very kind to me. She takes care of me and feeds me and makes sure I'm comfortable. She likes to talk, yes, but she can also be as silent as a tree, just listening.'

"Whoa, I think this whole 'being a cat' thing is #$ with Vincent's mind. I think, for his own good, we better move him," Cid said.

'Why does everyone think that being a cat has affected my brain?' Vinnie sighed.

"Cause you say weird shit," Cid said.

"Well he ain't lying!" I said, "I DO take care of him and make sure he's comfortable and stuff! I'm not out to make him go insane! He's my friend… I'd do the same for any of you too. Jeez! Not that you'd probably do the same for me."

"Damn straight!" Cid said, "If you turned into a cat, I'd throw you off the Highwind, in mid-flight over Cosmo Canyon! You'd probably be some freaky cat anyway, latching onto people's legs and scratching their eyes out."

"You're sucha #$#" I said.

"Oh yea? Well you're a !#$(&#$& cat #($(&#( whip cream lickin' #($#&( who's into bestiality!"

"I AM NOT! YOU #(&#&(! I bet you're into plant life anyway. That's the ONLY thing that give you the time of day, a (&#$ tomato! Something that can't run away or scream or hide!"

"A #(&#$)& tomato? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE YOU #()#$#"

"You would know, not me. Since you're the one who !)&#$& it! You tell me!"

Just as Cid's face was starting to get as red as the tomato in question, Cloud pulled him back and gave him a Look. Cid then, in turn, gave me a very angry, very threatening Look and I, in turn, stuck my tongue out at him.

"Alright, that's enough," Cloud said, "It seems like Vincent is fine, and so are you Yuffie. So we will be leaving again. Barrett is still in Midgar with Marlene and they're helping with the construction and freeing of people trapped. We're going back, but we expect you to _behave_ Yuffie."

"I am _behaving_ Cloud!" I said, giving him a murderous look, "I am 17 and, not like you care, but I'm turning 18 in a few months!"

"That's right #(&$, we don't care," Cid said, spitting behind him.

"Leviathan, Cid! Don't spit in my _house!_"

Cloud sighed, pushing Cid outside, and giving us a final nod, before exiting too.

I only momentarily noticed that Tifa was still laying passed out on the floor.

"Men," I said venomously, "They're so…SOOO…ARGHH! DUMB ARROGANT UGLY WORTHLESS! Can't even remember TIFA!"

I deflated then and sighed, walking over to Tifa and helping her up. She came around just as I was opening the door and remembered what she had seen and promptly passed out again.

"HEY CHOCOBO HEAD! YOU FORGOT TIFA YOU #(&#("

Cloud turned and blinked at me, giving me a dirty look, and then suddenly realizing, seeing Tifa. He ran up to me and apologized and took Tifa and then ran back to the Highwind.

"Men," I said venomously again.

'Yuffie, you really do overreact sometimes. Don't let them bother you so much.'

"Vinnie, I think you're the only nice guy on the planet sometimes."

'I highly doubt that,' Vinnie said, then giving me a telepathic smile, 'I think there's at least 10 nice guys out there, but probably not more than that.'

I chuckled and scooped Vinnie up and shut the door.

Time to clean up.


End file.
